How to combine running with a slight emotional breakdown.

There is a song that reminds me of such an unbearably devastating and heartbreaking thing that happened a few years ago that whenever I hear it I burst instantly into an overwhelming fit of crying. (This story gets chirpier, so stick with it!)

Out running one night I decided to forego my usual running playlist or repeated play of any song I’m currently obsessed with, and instead played random songs from my iPod. As I was running along the river, which is where I encounter most of the misfortunes and odd people that I do while running, this particular song started up. True to form I instantly start crying through the song (I have to listen to the whole thing once it’s started). So I’m running along heaving and wailing, blowing my nose on my top and wiping away the mascara that’s running down my face. The next song is decidedly more upbeat, it’s that Lily Allen song about London, so to jolly myself up a bit I try to sing along. So I’m stumbling along with tear clouded eyes singing about pimps and crack whores and little old ladies being mugged, which is punctuated by sobs and coughing and more nose blowing when I stumble over a stone and my headphones fall out and I stand there in my snotty top, with mascara smeared down my face and swearing quite strongly and repeatedly when I notice a man jogging past me who has probably been running along just behind me for a while and has therefore been witness to my pathetic display! As he runs past me he gives me a wide berth and speeds up a little and he looks a little concerned but gives me a wave, forces a smile and says “good evening”. On the plus side I’ve burned off 1413 calories. How many glasses of wine will that buy me?

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